Last night I stayed at the office until midnight… I was filled with that pre-departure energy to sort through and clean up piles of paper and items that had been stored in my office until “later.” There were still piles of things, set aside for later, wrapped in plastic from the flood we had in February. There were things I had set aside at the beginning of the pandemic, waiting for later. There is an enormous writing desk in the middle of my office that I’m not sure I want taking up so much real estate where I would rather be having conversations and gathering people in comfortable chairs and meaningful connection… last night as I put the last few things into a bin to bring home, I looked at the desk and thought, “Later.”
I am about to step away for three months and all of those “later items” have suddenly become urgent because I don’t want to come back to them in October. The longer those things sit, they become like the trash that still needs to be taken out. Or at least, that is what I imagine will be facing me when I return… a stinky pile of later.
I am preparing myself to enter into a sabbath rest and those moments before sunset are filled with activity. Once we welcome the Queen of Sabbath, we must give her our full attention. We cannot be divided between honoring her presence and the practical tasks that never seem to go away. I am challenged by this spiritual practice of crossing the threshold into the seventh day and turning myself over to God’s time. I find myself struggling to hold together the two realities of work and rest – it gives me vertigo. I cannot see over the threshold and my balance becomes disoriented, I literally have felt dizzy in this time of preparation.
Rabbi Heschel writes in his book, The Sabbath, “The Sabbath is not for the sake of the weekdays; the weekdays are for the sake of Sabbath. It is not an interlude, but the climax of living… even thinking of business or labor should be avoided. Labor is a craft, but perfect rest is an art. It is the result of an accord of body, mind and imagination. To attain a degree of excellence in art, one must accept its discipline, one must adjure slothfulness. The seventh day is a palace in time which we build. It is made of soul, of joy and reticence.” (pg. 14-15)
I realize that the more I practice this art, the better I will get at the discipline of leaving work and stepping into rest. Creating a palace in time, made of soul, joy, and reticence from labor. Sabbath still requires discipline, but it transforms the rampant anxiety of “later” into the divine rest of eternity.
